How To Not Be an Asshole on Halloween


Happy Halloween! Whilst you likely won’t run into any real ghosts or goblins tonight, you will most certainly run into real asshole piece of shit douchebags.

Here are some tips to make sure you’re not a Halloween asshole.

1) Don’t do Blackface.


Blackface is a bad idea. Do not do it.


Want to dress like Lil Wayne? Cool. Don’t do blackface.


Thinking of going as Urkel because you remember the 90s? OK! Thinking of doing blackface because you remember the 1800s? A) You do not remember that time period. B) DO NOT DO BLACKFACE.


An ode to Tupac on Halloween? Sweet. An ode to blackface on Halloween? Very much not sweet.

2) Don’t do blackface if you are a high school football coach.


Serra High School varsity head coach Brian Basteyns and assistant coach Harold Seeley thought dressing up as the Jamaican bobsledding team was a good idea. Sounds like a pretty nice costume to me. Then they added blackface. Don’t do blackface.

3) Don’t do blackface if you’re a celebrity.


Dancer, Singer, Actress Julianne Hough wanted to dress up as "Orange Is the New Black" character Crazy Eyes. Great show! Great character! Sounds like a great idea. Julianne Hough did it in blackface, an absolute terrible atrocious stupid idea.

4) Friends don’t let friends do blackface.


Jeffree Star (middle), who is sort of an online music star wanted to gather his friends and go out dressed as the Spice Girls. Fantastic! …until the friend who gets to be Scary Spice showed up. Do not take pictures in, or with people in, blackface. Do not let your friends do blackface. Do not do blackface.

5) Don’t have a party where people do blackface.


Giampaolo Sgura hosted a fashion party called “Hallowood 2013: Disco Africa.” Many attendees saw this as an open invitation to paint their bodies black…


…and dress like slaves…


…and if you’re famed Italian fashion designer Allesandro Dell’Acqua “Disco Africa” was an open invitation to do “Minstel show” blackface. Don’t do Minstrel show blackface, don’t do blackface.

6) Don’t support your fans doing blackface.


Love the Utah Jazz? Fan of Karl Malone? That’s great. When dressing as him, don’t do blackface. And when running the social media account of an NBA basketball team, don’t support your fans doing blackface.

7) Be original and don’t go out as Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. And don’t do blackface.




You will run into many couples on Halloween who think they are original going out as Kanye and Kim. But if you are a couple who absolutely must, DO NOT DO BLACKFACE.

8) Do not fat shame little children.


A North Dakota woman is planning to hand out the above letter instead of candy on Halloween. Do not do this. Fat shaming a child on Halloween, a day most children absolutely adore, will only damage the poor kid. You will not help. You are only being a piece of shit. If you’d like, hand this letter only to people doing blackface.

9) Do not lynch a skeleton wearing an Obama shirt.


A skeleton is a valid Halloween decoration. A skeleton hanging by a noose from a tree is certainly taking it to the next level. A skeleton hanging by a noose from a tree while wearing an Obama t-shirt? George Vucelich, you are racist. (And you seem like someone who would likely find nothing wrong with blackface.)

10) Don’t attack Trick-or-Treat’ers with racial slurs. In person or on the Internet.


David Spondike is a high school teacher. He is also definitely a racist. (Also, reminder, as someone who seems like he might need one: don’t do blackface.)

11) Trayvon Martin is not a Halloween costume. Also, don’t do blackface.


It doesn’t matter if you’re a self-proclaimed comedian like Ryan Maher…


…or in a band like Jason Schwartz.

Trayvon Martin is not a Halloween costume. Don’t do it and don’t do blackface.


If you’re smart enough to not dress up as Trayvon Martin and do blackface for Halloween, also be smart enough to not say you did like Jamie on Twitter above did.

If you are wondering who the intelligent people in the picture above actually are…


…it’s William Filene dress as Trayvon, Greg Cimeno as George Zimmerman, and Caitlin Cimeno as “Robin Da Hood” (whatever that is.) Don’t be stupid. Don’t be a shit head. Don’t “dress up” as Trayvon Martin. Don’t do blackface. Don’t be racist.

12) Don’t be a racist. Don’t do blackface.

"I’m not racist! It’s just a costume!" is the cry you will likely hear from people doing blackface. Remeber, Caitlin Cemno from the Facebook screenshot above? She too probably doesn’t think blackface is racist.

Here is another one of her Facebook posts:


"The little girl is wearing a shirt that says ‘black girls rock’. First of all, sorry  Hun but mommy lied to you & secondly if I was wearing a shirt that said something like the truth "white girl rock" I would be stared at and called a racist cracker."

If that’s not enough to convince you that blackface is racist, here’s a girl who wore blackface as her Halloween costume.

Or, as she called it, “nigger”:


Don’t be a racist. Don’t do blackface.

Happy Halloween!


Just know I see all y’all white activists not makin a peep about ferguson but y’all wanna bitch about gendered lotion…I’m callin y’all out next time you make a 3 paragraph statement on women with hairy armpits


Lee pace was so fucking hot in GOTG

I’m never letting this go


dating me means dating my anxiety and my random spouts of depression it means dating my panic attacks at 11pm or 2 am or 5am or anytime of the day for that matter it means dating my mood swings where i get really upset over everything about me and all my insecurities and how i’m not good enough because i’m never good enough

(Source: ewpeanutbutter)


i dont even sleep anymore i just die for a couple hours each day


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